One of the most frightening thing about abusive relationships is that you might not even know that you are in one. When most people picture an abusive relationship, they think about a man hitting a woman and perhaps his children as well, but although this kind of relationship certainly is abusive, it is by no means the only form that abuse may take. An abusive relationship can be physically abusive, like the one mentioned above, or the abuse can take a more subtle form. Abusers can be male or female, and they can be involved in an emotionally abusive relationship, as well as a physically, or even a verbally abusive one.
The fact is, people like to protect their loved ones, and so they will often deny it to themselves when an abusive relationship is taking place. The victim might even opt to blame him or herself, rather than facing the fact that their partner is treating them in a way that they should not. It is easy to see why someone would cover up their own abusive relationship in order to protect the romantic involvement that they have going on with the person, but it is important that they break the cycle. If they do not, the abuse will continue indefinitely, and they will suffer needlessly, along with their friends, relatives, children, and anyone else who cares about them. The fact is that you have to fact the music sooner or later, and you might as well do it sooner so as to break the cycle of abuse.
An abusive relationship does not consist solely of someone making threats, nasty comments, or hitting you, although all of these things can be part of these relationships. A lot of what makes abusive relationships abusive has to do with the way the abuser views the victim. If he, for example, watches her every move and tries to stop her from being with her friends, either with threats or with emotional manipulation, he is an abuser. Abuse is not really about hurting the other person so much as it is about finding ways to control or manipulate them. The real cause of an abusive relationship is the desire of one partner to control the other, and be in charge of everything he or she does. If one person feels this way about the other, there is simply no way for them to have a healthy life together.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Abusive Relationship
Do you watch television? What a stupid question, right? It's just that two individuals in my family do not, ever. I fully admit that I do. I'm a crime show fanatic. Take your pick from any current crime series running on television now days. I probably watch it weekly. You want to know one thing every crime show has in common? They all show us what an abusive relationship looks like. Sure, they vary in severity and number of victims, but we can tell what to look for. Therefore if someone were being abused in this modern society, wouldn't we all be able to spot it? Considering that we know the person. Think about that! Who do you know that may express symptoms? If you know someone, it's your duty as a friend or even an acquaintance to help. If you don't, maybe no one will.
Why do we shy away from responsibilities? I have a friend, whose aunt was in an abusive relationship. He knew, his family knew, and everyone basically knew. So what was the deal? Where was the intervention? I couldn't help but inquire his thoughts. I demanded to know what he was waiting for. He's a grown man and he should assist her. However, he informed me that they could not get her out of the abusive relationship, basically because she refused. So then what do you do? This woman is in her 40s, and still she chooses to stay with someone who treats her poorly. Hmm, this can be a tricky issue. You see, when someone is abused, they are typically isolated as well. The abuser will keep them away from friends or family. He/she will disconnect the victim from the outside world. This in turn renders them powerless. It sounds utterly horrible, but it's reality. They also make their victims feel guilty or swear they only do what they do out of love. The victim often feels sorry for the abuser.
Clearly an abusive relationship is a complicated. It's crucial for all of us to identify with the common signs. If someone you know has bruises, cuts or scrapes on a regular basis, ask them about it. Individuals who are stuck in an abusive relationship will commonly act withdrawn from society. Moreover, if you see a child that fits these symptoms, it's your duty to see what's up. A child cannot be expected to deal with an abusive parent or relative like an adult. Trust your intuition.
Why do we shy away from responsibilities? I have a friend, whose aunt was in an abusive relationship. He knew, his family knew, and everyone basically knew. So what was the deal? Where was the intervention? I couldn't help but inquire his thoughts. I demanded to know what he was waiting for. He's a grown man and he should assist her. However, he informed me that they could not get her out of the abusive relationship, basically because she refused. So then what do you do? This woman is in her 40s, and still she chooses to stay with someone who treats her poorly. Hmm, this can be a tricky issue. You see, when someone is abused, they are typically isolated as well. The abuser will keep them away from friends or family. He/she will disconnect the victim from the outside world. This in turn renders them powerless. It sounds utterly horrible, but it's reality. They also make their victims feel guilty or swear they only do what they do out of love. The victim often feels sorry for the abuser.
Clearly an abusive relationship is a complicated. It's crucial for all of us to identify with the common signs. If someone you know has bruises, cuts or scrapes on a regular basis, ask them about it. Individuals who are stuck in an abusive relationship will commonly act withdrawn from society. Moreover, if you see a child that fits these symptoms, it's your duty to see what's up. A child cannot be expected to deal with an abusive parent or relative like an adult. Trust your intuition.
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